fuck if i know. At this point we should all know the dangers in making generalizations as even though we share the same reproductive parts, we are still individuals. So rather than try to comment on a subject matter to which I have no knowledge, this is what I DO know. I know what I want.In no particular order...I want to choose and be chosen by the same person. Conversation should easily flow as we will have similar interests and encourage each other to try new things. Support. SO (significant other) should be my biggest cheerleader. We want do things that will positively affect the world around us.
Although we will be mutually confident, I like to give and receive compliments. I want to be attracted to my mate. I have my preferences but they just that. Preferences do not equal requirements.
My interest lies in motivated and passionate individuals. Open minded individuals. Versatile individuals. Perfection is not welcome in my presence but growth is always invited. I enjoy the company of a man who is aware of the importance of presentation but knows that his value lies in his heart. He believes in the existence of a higher power and seeks to understand how he can channel that power to exist higher.Maturity. Masculinity is key without disregarding my femininity. He's interested in all things me and seeks understand each facet of my existence. He's a gentleman but knows when its ok to get rough. In the early stages, his actions show that building a strong foundation for our relationship is a priority to him. Later, it will be our family and making sure we are strong as a unit. We will be a watered down version of Michelle and Barack as we will be too busy getting our Will and Jada on.
I’m not sure where I could compromise on my desires here. I’m tempted to add 20% of BS just so I’m covered on this whole 80/20 rule. I think most women know what they want. The problem lies when they allow themselves to entertain less than what they desire. They are setting themselves up for unhappiness and then actually act surprised when they aren’t in a stable situation. They allowed 80/20 to become 60/40 or worse.
Another issue is...(dare I say it?) desperation. *gasp* not me!!! Can’t be!!! This word has such a negative connotation in the dating game as it conjures up images of Katherine Stacks or your home girl who will sleep with any guy that buys her a drink or two. We refuse to accept this adjective in regards to ourselves. Truth be told, most of us are guilty of acting out of desperation, A fear that we may not find 80% of our soulmate, a time or two. At this point I would say it’s a valid concern. We’ve all seen the articles and programs. (Please prepare your ovaries for biracial fertilization at this time, thank you)A situation I found myself in recently is, I forgot. I literally forgot what I wanted as I had been inundated with so many bullshit prospects that when a good 50%er presented himself, I was like JACKPOT!! I win. #FALSE. I got so involved with sir 50% that when Mr. 80% showed up, my dumb ass focused on that 20% and left at the first sign of 50% on “that ackright.” Later, of course Sir 50% turned out to be Sir 10% and Madam 100% Jazzy (that’s me) ended up alone. #iLose.
In the future I think it’s important for me to constantly remind myself of the type of mate that I truly desire so I don’t catch myself slippin’ in the future. Its easy to lose sight of goals. Our relationship goals should be treated as our other personal goals are. The better you keep them in perspective, the more likely you are to reach them. Patience is key.
So, how do you remind yourself of YOUR relationship goals. Is this as effective as you’d like it to be?
