We all know what we like in the opposite sex. (Well you should at this point I assume). I’ve discovered at least 90% of the physical and personality traits that I find attractive. I feel confident in saying that these preferences were not influenced by social constructs, the media, or outside influence. If I saw something I liked, quite naturally I’d seek something similar in the future. Easy enough right? Wrong.
I’ve been told more than a few times that my preferences need to be reevaluated. Here’s why. I “politely” demand that the object of my affections be spiritual, loving, ambitious, stable, intelligent, AND attractive. That last one is what ruffles the feathers.
I have yet to understand this. What good is all that other stuff if I don’t wanna lay down and do some fruitful multiplication with you? I can’t change what I’m attracted to. It’s not like my preferences are based off someone else’s standards or that they are ridiculously high. Where am I wrong here?
In their defense, I knew of this one guy who was ONLY attracted to females with light skin and “good” long hair. To that guy: I feel so sorry that you subscribe to only ONE standard of beauty. It’s shameful IMO. Now, in MY defense, beauty comes in many shades and hair textures and heights and I acknowledge them ALL (especially tall, brownskin with locs, ow! ow!).
So again I ask where am I wrong here? Can you date/marry someone who is not necessarily physically attractive? What are you attracted to?
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Some people tend to get lost on physical appearance. I've been known to say that I like my men "interesting" looking. All that means is that I'm not initially drawn to the finest man in the room, his demeanor attracts me. You ever met someone who, by traditional standards, would be considered average? Then yall talk, you get a better feel for his personality, his aspirations...then all of a sudden he's not average anymore, now he's out right sexy!
ReplyDeleteheck yeah man, physicality just get you out the blocks. its personality that take you cross the finish line! LOL @ "interesting." I'm actually cool with average. Like if we was rating appearances like GPAs and a 2.0 is average, I'm good with a 2.3...Highest average you can get. *BUT* the extracurriculars gotta be on point tho, LOL!!
ReplyDeleteFinally I get to comment. *cracks knuckles*
ReplyDeleteThe answer to this question is complicated.
I do believe that there needs to be some physical attraction to my mate. Of course we need to pay attention to our mates ability to hold a conversation, personality characteristics and moral character (blah blah blah). But let's be real. I'm not saying my mate needs to look like Tobias Truvillon or Omari Hardwick (even though that would be amazing). I do need to have SOME form of physical attraction. Now, just because a guy isn't a super model doesn't mean he should be completely written off. I've talked to many guys that didn't fit society's definition of an attractive male. I'll give you an example. There was a guy I met in Miami that was about 6'6 350lbs. Nice smile. HUGE personality that i could see right off the bat. He approached me and honestly, I liked the way he approached me. He was definitely loud and brazen but i didn't mind it. It actually fit how he carried himself.
We do need to appreciate the things in people that you can't see with the naked eye. It is hard to appreciate that if the packaging is busted though... Long story short, I think there needs to be SOME physical attraction. The problem comes in when people box themselves in to a certain type of person...(guys with dreads, lightskinned girls with long hair, girls with big butts etc).
Excuse the cliche, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When you say you need someone to be "attractive" I would naturally assume that you meant that he has to be attractive to YOU and not anyone else cause everyone sees beauty and attraction differently. Like heyfatu007 said, it seems shallow or a problem when someone stays in the box of choosing one type of person. Like I find it a problem when women say they cant date someone who's the same height or shorter than them. Pet peeve for me cause im about 5'7, 5'8" on a good day, (yes some days i grow an inch, let me have this one) and i find women my hieght or taller than me attractive. I just think thats bad cause you could miss out on the right person for you by sticking to the same box of what you're "attracted" to.
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