Sex Detox Homework: Self-Awareness

Assignment: Write a totally honest dating profile of yourself, not one meant to attract others based on qualities you think are desireable, but based offa who you really are and what you really want. then draft a profile from the perspect ive of the last person you regularly dated. o_0 (ummm I'll just ask him)

TOTALLY HONEST DATING PROFILE:

I hate doing dishes and the taste of tap water. I love to learn but I hate being told what to do. The truth is, the next 5-7 years will be spent playing catching and making up for all the mistakes I made earlier in life. My life goal is still the same as it was when I was 5 years old. How many people can still say that?? I want to be a mommy. The rest of life is just pointless details to me. I’d prefer someone else take care of those details. Meanwhile...I do. I resent that about life sometimes. Sometimes I appreciate it. I meet people that way. I live for the moment but planning for the future gives me life. My plans hardly ever work out as I anticipated. Some of that is my fault. I make the wrong plans. I have good taste in men. All of my recent ex’s are awesome. Please don’t be threatened by this. I ended those relationships. We just weren’t awesome together. I’m picky about the things I’m picky about. Other than this, I’m pretty easy to please.

I appreciate poetry. I write poetry. I think I suck but I’m pretty good at it. At any point in the day, I know the words to at least one song that’s playing on the radio. I love live music. R&B music gives me life. It’s why I believe in love. I loathe the thought of anal sex. But, I’m game for pretty much anything else with the person I love. When I’m mad, I can be a huge jerk. Just apologize sincerely and no one will get hurt. I’m also very affectionate. I like to be touched. When I get my fill of this, I become cat-like and go do my own thing. Let this happen. I’m impatient. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I spend too much time on my Blackberry and my laptop. I don’t like to be alone. I appreciate and expect compliments. Blame my humility. I love to do new things.

My favorite part of a man is his masculine spirit. I make a lot of observations out loud. Do not mistake this as complaining. It’s an invite to conversation. I have a low tolerance for drama and I’m a peacekeeper by nature but I WILL defend myself and I don’t fight fair. My mood is pretty chill most times. It’s because I’m always thinking. I have a very vivid imagination. Don’t ask me to go see scary movies with you. The answer is no. I’m indecisive about most things…except that. Most of the time, it’s because I either care that much about the options or I don’t really care at all. I procrastinate. It’s my biggest problem. I forget a lot of things also. My brain, while awesome, is defective. Welcome to my world. Please buckle your seat belt. I text while driving.

VERDICT: Him- "Too F****n honest. Very overwhelming." Me- "Perfect"

Assignment #2: Describe your Perfect date:

My date will arrive dressed comfortably but looks like flyness personified. He smells of smooth masculinity. He greets me with a sincere hug and opens the door for me. He will have a gift. It will be a small trinket. He took the time out to learn that I’m not a fan of flowers. He didn’t tell me where we were going. He knows I don’t like surprises. He says, “Just trust me.” His confidence is comforting. He turns on his music. Coltrane. Impressive. We engage in small talk. It’s pleasant and engaging.

We arrive at a restaurant. There’s live music, low lights, and interesting artwork on the walls. There’s an ambiance of acceptance here. The menu has great offerings and I can’t decide what I want. He makes a perfect suggestion. The service is impeccable. The conversation is flowing. We talk about deep things on a superficial level and life’s cliff notes. There a lot to be discovered.

The food arrives and after one bite I decide I’ll eat here again someday. As we are finishing, he suggests I try desert and excuses himself. He daps up a band member and somehow has incorporated himself into the set. His performance is flawless. I like surprises. We eat dessert. Conversation continues. We’re one of the last people to leave.

He asks if I’m in the mood for a walk. Walking turns to window shopping. We pick out things we can’t afford and even if we could we probably wouldn’t buy them. We describe the people that do. He’s funny and insightful. I think I like him. The car ride home is a continuation of earlier conversation touching on deeper subjects. Our goals are similar. Comforting thought. He walks me to the door and ends the night with a hug and kiss on the cheek. He lets me know that he has arrived home safely. He notes that he really enjoyed my company and is looking forward to hanging out again. He offers to cook for me. I think I like him.

There were questions that accompanied this. I may include those in the comments section. If anyone is interested.